Look who’s the new camp cook.
“What is that stuff?” questioned Blake Barnett, pointing at the meat that had been placed on the table in front of us.
“Shut up and eat!” I replied.
“Not till you tell me what kind of meat that is!” demanded my companion pointing at the plate.” I smiled…all the while thinking, if I’m going to have to eat this, so will you!
“Bush meat!” I replied, pretending to savor every bite. “Mmmmm, seasoned just right as well. The chef outdid himself this time!” In truth I was thinking whatever this was had to be the worst tasting meat I’d ever tried to eat.
“Ain’t gonna do it! I’ve smelled dog food with a better aroma.” Said my companion shaking his head. “You can have my share! Think I’ll just stick with bread with butter.”
Right before Blake arrived I had tasted the butter. It tasted like a rutting billy goat smelled.
The bread did taste good, however! Blake swabbed his slice with butter. When the brim of his hat hid his eyes, I spit out what I had in my mouth. No sooner had I gotten rid of the putrid tasting meat, then I heard “YUCK!! What is wrong with this butter?”
I suggested we stick to the hot tea, bread and chocolate bars hidden in our tent.
After supper I proposed to our host that he let me try taking over the cooking duties. He agreed.
Blake Barnett, co-host for our “DSC’s Trailing the Hunter’s Moon”, which airs year-round on Pursuit Channel, was at the time my cameraman. He and I, along with three other hunters, were high in the mountains of Sonora, Mexico looking for Coues whitetails – mere miles south of the Arizona border. The gentleman who had prepared our aforementioned meal called himself Chef Juan and had earlier bragged of having attended several culinary schools in the States.
Our first night in camp the “Chef” served boiled, almost done pinto beans with tortillas so burned they looked, and essentially tasted, like little black Frisbees. Hmmmm!
Our host apologized for the food, then called Chef Juan over to inform him he was now going to be in charge of feeding the donkeys and their pack of lion hounds. Poor animals!
Next morning, I shot a very nice Coues deer with my Ruger American in .270 Win using Hornady 130 grain American Whitetail. Back in camp I properly cut steaks, pounded each with a coffee mug, put them in a bowl, and squeezed a large lime on the meat. The lime would help tenderize and flavor the meat. Ten minutes later I covered the meat with milk.
Rummaging, I found salt pork from which I cut several thick slices, and fried them in a cast iron skillet. I would use this for seasoning. Everything tastes better with bacon!
While the meat marinated, I peeled and thinly sliced three pounds of potatoes and three onions.
I placed my skillet, in which I had fried the bacon, minus half of the bacon drippings, on the wood burning stove and added a full cup of thinly cut bacon. When it was crisp I added the potatoes and onions, and occasionally stirred the contents. I salted and peppered the deer steaks then dusted them with flour. I then dropped steaks into the now hot bacon grease skillet and browned both sides. I was careful not to over-cook the venison.
While I had been cooking, I cut up fresh fruit; apples, oranges, and bananas, over which I squeezed a lemon. This would be used as a fruit salad or dessert.
I had just finished setting the table; knife and spoon on the right placed on a napkin, fork on the left. Beside each plate I placed a red Solo Cup which would serve as a glass for the red wine I had bought once we crossed the border.
The other hunters and guides, our host and Blake walked in just as I was finishing up the table setting. I put the two basic dishes I had prepared on the table.
When the group was finished eating, there was one small piece of fried steak left, and a table spoon full of potatoes and onions. I guessed they liked it. Wish I had eaten some of it before they arrived…
There was one problem however, as I started clearing the table to wash the dishes! I heard, “We have a new camp cook!”