As Robert Ruark’s Old Man once said, “The best part of hunting and fishing was the thinking about going and the talking about it after you got back.” Only those who go afield know what happens and the lessons to be learned there. Many of them are funny things; things the rest of the world is too busy or too lazy to get out and experience for themselves. Both the woods and the water offer humorous anecdotes to be remembered later as insider jokes.
Below are some of those funny truths and half-truths that every sportsman can appreciate, quoted in Sporting Classics‘ book, Passages.
“Outside of a dog, a book is a man’s best friend; and inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.”
—Groucho Marx (1890-1977)
“You wonder if a fish goes home at night and exaggerates the size of the bait it stole.”
—Bob Hope, 1962
“There are only two who should never be questioned: God and the camp cook. Both hold your fate in their hands.”
—Michael McGurity, as quoted in Game Days by Chris Dorsey, 1995
“The bride was presented in marriage by her mother and father. Her father was present even though it was the first day of dove season.”
—News item in the Daily Press, Newport News, Virginia, on September 12, 1993
“It’s just not possible for me (3,000 miles away) to tell you what caliber of gun to have in your home. You know your neighbors better than I do.”
—Will Rogers, (1879-1935)
“In 1620 The Mayflower with pilgrims aboard entered Plymouth Harbor for the first time. The captain of The Mayflower noticed several canoes of Indians fishing. He asked one of them “How is the fishing?” and the reply he got was: “Slow … you should have been here yesterday.”
—Unknown author
“Fishing is very similar to golf because in both sports you hold a long skinny thing in your hand while nothing happens for days at a time.”
—Dave Barry, syndicated newspaper humorist
“All skill is in vain when an angel pees in the touch hole of your musket.”
—German proverb
“A wife and a steady job have ruined many a good duck hunter.”
—Anonymous
“In my opinion, the way lures actually work is that the fish see one go by, and they get to laughing so hard and thrashing around so that occasionally one of them snags itself on the hook.”
—Dave Barry, syndicated newspaper humorist, 1992
Purchase a copy of Passages from the Sporting Classics store for more than 700 quotes of humor, viewpoints, and observations on the sporting life.
