A London lawyer went duck hunting in rural Scotland. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer’s field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, the elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked the lawyer what he was doing.
The lawyer said, “I shot a duck. It fell into this field, and now I’m going to retrieve it.”
The old farmer replied, “This is my property, and you’re not coming over here.”
The lawyer was indignant.
“I’m one of the best trial lawyers in the UK, and if you don’t let me get that duck, I’ll sue you and take everything you own.”
The old farmer smiled and said, “Apparently, you don’t know how we do things in Scotland. We settle small disagreements like this with the Scottish Three-Kick Rule.”
“What is the ‘Scottish Three-Kick Rule?’” the lawyer asked.
“Well, first I kick you three times, then you kick me three times, and so on and so forth until someone gives up,” the farmer said.
The attorney thought about the proposed contest and quickly decided that he could take the old man, so he agreed to abide by the local custom.
The farmer slowly got down from his tractor and walked up to the city boy. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy work boot into the lawyer’s groin, dropping him to his knees. His second kick nearly ripped the nose off his face.
The lawyer was flat on his belly when the farmer’s third kick to a kidney nearly caused him to give up, but he didn’t. Instead, the lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet.
“Okay, you old codger, now it’s my turn.”
The old farmer smiled.
“Naw, I give up, You can keep the duck.”
