It’s a dangerous place outdoors.

The world is full of dangers. You’ve got speeding cars, stinging bees, rattlesnakes that bite and more. Luckily I have Mike to walk the trails ahead of me and check for dangers — much like a very slow bodyguard, har har!

Once, while hunting pheasants, I was working my way through dense standing oats on a farm agriculture field when I heard rustling beside me. Like the professional sporting dog I am, I went to investigate. I stuck my face through the vegetation and then a porcupine sent forth a tail of many thorns. I had been attacked by a large pin cushion. My nose and lips took the blunt of this unprovoked attack — or make that multiple jabs. Ouch, the sharp spines hurt. But, alas, this is not the end of this event.

While the quills were pulled out in the field immediately because Mike remembered to pack some pliers, the next morning I had a rude awakening. Well, semi-awakening because my eyes were swollen shut. I could not see. I could not tell where the floor was, so I could not leap down from the bed. A disaster in the making.

While I frequently jab Mike for being less than a master of his shotgun, he does make sure I am well cared for. Ok, his friends heap on insults that I am a very spoiled dog. Ugh. I am well cared for — period. This time Mike rushed me to a veterinary hospital and shots ensued with more needles (fortunately not the porcupine-type needles) and then popping pills to reduce the swelling so I could see. A few hours later, I began my recovery and I could once again see.

Now my rule with porcupine encounters is to bark loudly and snarl, plus jump up and down. This is my warning to Mike that I have seen a porcupine. He fully understands the clues — and we move away to hunt another area. Lesson learned — I must avoid the pin cushion of the forest.

Porcupines are dangerous. —Cameron the Weim