Interesting ideas that defy proof appeal to me, because facts have a way of strangling speculation and pestering us daydreamers. I have longed to scratch some of my itches in public, so here they are. You may not itch in exactly the same places, but hear me out. Please.
There seems to be a current fad that is, like a lot of fads, foolishly logical — the left-handed operation of a fly reel. “Why are you doing this the awkward way?” the sensible, right-handed angler asks before forcing you to listen to a tedious explanation about how fighting a trout of a pound or so requires the mightier of your appendages. If a 20-inch rainbow (you should be so lucky) exhausts you, take up something less strenuous, like free form verse.
The Labrador retriever is, arguably, the most perfect example of the kindness and compassion of the Almighty. Eve wasn’t bad either, mind you, but just think about it…
The most satisfying way to catch bass is on a topwater plug. Least satisfying is the common worm rig.
Nymphing for trout with a bobber (strike indicator indeed!) has little to do with real fly fishing; it is, unfortunately, quite effective, but so are explosives and electric shockers.
Bureaucratic nitwittery has finally enacted a series of laws in every state I know of that seem to be specially designed to totally discourage youngsters from ever taking up hunting. Read the laws in your state and imagine yourself being 12 or so. Add up the hours and the costs and the bother, divide by enthusiasm, and subtract a young man or woman, just when we need them more than ever.
Why have hunters and fishermen gone so deeply on the defensive as to resort to wimpy phrases like “harvest” or worse, “reduce to possession?” Would a Marine DI urge his troops to “harvest the enemy?” Are we retreating to the dark ages when piano legs were referred to as “limbs” and death was couched in a myriad of circumlocutions that didn’t make the matter any less realistic or irreversible?
Is the current proliferation of state stamps, at extra costs, another bleeding of the sportsman? In many cases I suspect it is. Does your pheasant stamp money really go for pheasants, or should we remain skeptical? Is it too much to ask our public servants to tell us where our money really goes? It might make for amusing reading at worst; at best it might provoke some of us to ask some harder questions.
The wild turkey is our most overrated gamebird. Other than giving us a spring hunting season and the chance to fool with a variety of calls and patterns of camouflage overalls, what have we got? The next most overrated bird is the Canada goose. Most underrated are the pintail and the sandhill crane. Just my personal opinion, of course.
“Hill’s Law” says: “The surest way to find something you’ve lost is to replace it with something new.” Another is that “One size doesn’t fit all.” An increasing number of clothing makers don’t know their XLs from the Ss.
The best all-around shotgun shell is a No. 7 1/2. Number 7s are even better, but only all of Europe and Great Britain know that. The 3-inch, 20-gauge shell is only really functional for those who like recoil. And since you asked, I don’t know why they make a 1-ounce load for the 28-gauge either.
The best all-around freshwater rod is an 8-footer for a 7-weight line. No saltwater fly rod should be less than nine feet for a nine line; if you only had one rod, a 10-weight would be even better. These are the “12-gauges” of fly fishing; they will get the job done under almost any condition.
The best all-purpose dry fly is the Adams. The best all-purpose streamer is the Grey Ghost and the best wet fly is the Hare’s Ear. Hill has spoken!
The best all-around North American rifle caliber is the .270. I will admit to owning some others, but except for a few really heavy calibers, I don’t know why — maybe because I wanted them.
The best shot is the one you make after your buddy has missed it twice.
The best deer is your first one. The next best is the first one you helped someone else get.
I hope you haven’t forgotten how much fun it is to fish with live bait. It gives you a very special feeling about the world “down there,” and it has a nice slow, reflective pace to it — primitive and strong and honest.
Pound for pound, saltwater fish fight harder than freshwater fish. No, I can’t prove it and I don’t know why; I just know it’s true.
The perfect two-barrel choke borings for virtually all bird hunting are light improved-cylinder and tight-modified. Trust me! Not bad for a duck gun either in these days of steel shot. For a single-barrel gun: improved cylinder.
The excessive noise from short-barreled shotguns and rifles outweighs any imagined or hoped-for theoretical advantage if you expect to shoot more than one shot — or even ten. Short barrels are a delusion based on a number of false premises. If you donít believe me, ask someone who uses them, but you’ll have to shout.
In closing, I urge you not to take anybody’s word for anything, including mine, unless you want to, except for what I said about the Labrador. I believe the Lord made the earth round so retrievers wouldn’t fall off the edge. Just my opinion, of course.
Note: “In My Opinion” is one of many entertaining essays in Gene Hill’s Passing a Good Time, published by Countrysport Press in 1996.