Here are eight of the best hunting and fishing jokes that only sportsmen and women and lovers of the outdoors can truly appreciate.

With these hilarious (and relatable) hunting and fishing jokes under your belt, you are sure to have the entire camp cackling around the fire on your next excursion.

1. Save the Lion!

A big game hunter went on safari with his wife and mother-in-law. One evening, while still deep in the jungle, the wife awoke to find her mother gone. Rushing to her husband, she insisted on them both trying to find her.

The hunter picked up his rifle, shook himself awake and began to look for her amid the shadows of the night. In a clearing not far from camp, they came upon a bone-chilling sight: The mother-in-law was backed up against a thick, impenetrable bush, with a large male lion standing face to face with her.

The wife cried, “What are we going to do?”

“Nothing,” said the husband. “The lion got himself into this mess; let him get himself out of it.”

2. Soiled

A young reporter went to a retirement home to interview an aged but legendary explorer. The reporter asked the old man to tell him the most frightening experience he had ever had.

The old explorer said, “Once I was hunting Bengal tigers in the jungles of India. I was on a narrow path and my faithful native gunbearer was behind me. Suddenly the largest tiger I have ever seen leaped onto the path in front of us. I turned to get my weapon only to find the native had fled.

“The tiger leapt toward me with a mighty ROARRRR! — I soiled myself.”

The reporter said, “Anyone would have done the same thing under those circumstances.”

The old explorer said, “No, not then. Just now, when I went ‘ROARRRR!'”

3. The Dog That Can’t Swim

An avid duck hunter was in the market for a new bird dog. His search ended when he found a dog that could actually — incredibly — walk on water to retrieve a duck. Shocked by his find, he was sure none of his friends would ever believe him.

He decided to try to break the news to a friend of his, the eternal pessimist who refused to be impressed with anything. This, surely, would impress him.

He invited him to hunt with him and his new dog. As they waited by the shore, a flock of ducks flew by. They fired and a duck fell.

The dog responded and jumped into the water. The dog did not swim, however, but instead walked across the water to retrieve the bird, never getting more than his paws wet. This continued all day long; each time a duck fell, the dog walked across the surface of the water to retrieve it.

The pessimist watched carefully, saw everything, but did not say a single word.

On the drive home the hunter asked his friend, “Did you notice anything unusual about my new dog?”

“I sure did,” responded the pessimist. “He can’t swim.”

 

4. Déjà Vu

Two hunters hired a bush pilot to take them far into the Canadian wilderness for a caribou hunt. The two had hunted the same area the year before and been quite successful, with three bulls apiece. Their second trip was equally enjoyable, and when the pilot returned he found three bulls per man.

As they began loading the plane, the pilot remarked, “I can only fit four of the racks in the plane after you and all your gear. You’re going to have to pick two racks to leave behind.”

“Nonsense!” the two hunters scoffed in unison.

One explained: “We had the exact same amount of cargo last year, and that pilot let us take back three bulls each. We’re going to take everything with us, all in this load.”

The pilot was concerned, but not wanting to be outdone by a competing pilot, he shrugged and began pushing and pulling gear to make room for the excess racks. Soon the gear was loaded, barely, and the plane was making its way up and out of the backcountry.

They hadn’t made it far from the primitive runway when the plane began its nosedive. The pilot put the bird down as gently as he could, and though the plane and most of its cargo was destroyed, the three men were able to climb from the wreckage unscathed. Looking around themselves in a daze, one hunter asked the other hunter if he knew where they were.

“I think so,” the one responded. “I think we’re close to where we crashed last year.”

 

5. Stuffed

An affluent sportsman was visiting another affluent sportsman, both of the men frequent visitors to Africa. The two spent a large part of the visit examining the host’s exquisite game room, discussing the trophies and comparing and contrasting the various animals they had killed.

The visiting hunter came to a lion mount near the host’s writing desk. It was a beautiful, black-maned male, but something was a bit off about it.

The visitor asked, “What’s the story behind this lion?”

“Oh,” replied the host, “I killed that one a few years ago when I went hunting with my wife. It has sentimental value.”

“What is it stuffed with?”

“My wife.”

 

6. The One That Got Away

A fisherman and his wife were blessed with two healthy twin boys. They thought long and hard about what to name the two, but try as they might they could not come to a decision. Finally, more than a week after their births, the fisherman told his wife, “Let’s just wait. The right names for them both will come to us when they’re meant to.”

After a month or so the parents began to notice something peculiar about the brothers. When left to themselves one boy would invariably turn toward the open ocean; the other, toward the mainland. No matter how the parents twisted and turned the boys, they always resumed facing their opposing directions in the end.

Feeling that the names had indeed presented themselves, the parents named the boys Toward and Away, depending on their orientation to their beloved sea.

Years passed and both of the twins proved themselves able fishermen. Their father felt it was high time they learned to fish on the open water out of sight of land, so he kissed his wife goodbye and set out with his sons for a three-month voyage to a distant fishing ground. The wife waited patiently for three months, and then another three without hearing from or seeing her men return.

Finally, a year to the day from when they had first set sail, the wife saw the fisherman walking along the beach, worn and weathered by his time upon the sea. She ran to him and the two embraced, but she quickly asked where her sons were.

The fisherman explained that as soon as they were out of site of land the first day, a monster fish had taken Toward’s bait and proceeded to drag the boat farther and farther away from shore. Toward fought the fish for days, with his father and brother bringing him water as needed. Having not slept for some time, the twin was understandably weakened. When the fish made one last run, it pulled Toward over the side of the ship and into the water, never to be seen again.

“My poor boy! That terrible monster of a fish!” the woman cried.

“That’s nothing,” the husband philosophized. “You should have seen the one that got Away.”

 

7. Eyes Peeled

Two men were hunting together. One asked the other, “Did you see that?”

“No, what?”

“An elk just stepped out into that clearing, then turned and ran back into the woods.”

A little further down the trail, the one asked the other, “Did you see that?”

“No. What was it?”

“A bear just crossed the trail not 200 yards ahead.”

The two continued on in silence. Later in the day the one asked the other, “Did you see that?”

Irritated at his friend, the other hunter responded, “Yes! Yes I did!”

“Then why did you step in it?”

 

8. Wrong Elephant

A man was on safari when he came across an elephant. As he prepared to shoot, he noticed something was troubling the big bull’s right hind leg. He decided not to pull the trigger and moved forward to help the injured animal instead. A metal stake was impaled in its foot. The animal was patient as he removed it, then bowed his head in gratitude before moving off into the brush.

Years passed and the man grew older. He had children and grandchildren in his small Midwestern hometown. He always wondered what became of the bull he had saved back in Africa.

One day a circus passed through town. The performers paraded down the street on their way to the fairgrounds, and as the elephants moved by the old man noticed an old bull eyeing him constantly. Before it got out of sight it seemed to bow its head.

Could it really be the same elephant? the man thought. They say elephants never forget.

He moved out from behind the barricades and walked down the street. The old bull looked down at him thoughtfully, tilted its head down… picked him up with his trunk and slung him around.

Different elephant.

Note: Have more hilarious hunting and fishing jokes you’d like to share? Let us know in the comments!