OK, I like stuff.
Guess that’s why I have five coats, some pajamas, nearly 100 dog toys, 20 bags of treats, fine porcelain dog bowls and about $1,000 worth of dog beds. Plus there’s a first aid kit and travel bag complete with food, water and the ever important treats, in Mike’s truck. Yes, I’m a consumer and I stimulate America’s economy, har har!
OK, I get packages at home nearly every week. Alexa can recognize my bark, so I order often. The delivery trucks stop regularly at my front door and the driver’s know my name. Many packages come with my name on it, but, yes, Mike has to open them. I have chewed a few open and it is not a pretty picture, har har!
The other day after the UPS truck arrived, I was trying to determine what do those upper-case letters on the side of the brown truck stand for? I have determined the “S” stands for stuff, and every time I see a U-P-Stuff truck on the road, I wonder if it is coming to my home? I need more stuff.
OK, OK, I have so much stuff that Mike’s friends are beginning to call me names and heckle me. Just the other day when I saw a classy dog coat with a fur-lined color to cover my ears, I knew I needed that and started howling for Mike to order it. His friends are working on their insults now, har har!
I must admit, I have trouble keeping track of my many possessions. For example, I have three kennels, alias Cameron houses per Mike’s friends. I stay sometimes in the one in the master bedroom, but since there is no TV or surround sound in there, I do not stay long. I should contact a realtor about selling those other two dog homes since I have not been in them in years, har har! Real estate everywhere is hot right now, so I plan to cash in. I could use those house-flipping dollars to buy more stuff.
I now also have my own fly rod, and a pond that I claim as Cameron’s Pond in a nearby town. I must go there each summer day to swim. Now if only Mike could also take that fly rod, hook a trout, and let me grab it and drag it ashore. I admit he and I often fight over fish. If it splashes, It’s mine also. Apparently Mike is a slow learner and does not follow this logic, har har!
I also receive Orvis dog books, alias mail-order catalogs full of more dog stuff and I carefully look at each page. I just need to know what’s new and available in the Stuff Market. Yes, Sporting Classics also has a store that sells stuff for dogs. Start shopping and contact me if you need assistance. I’m an expert on ordering and owning STUFF, har har! —Cameron the Weim
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